Putting the WE in Wedding
It’s not a secret, planning a wedding can be stressful! I actually had a dream the other night, rather, it was more of a nightmare:
I had family fly in from all over the world- I kid you not, people I have not seen in years were there. Everyone was getting ready for some huge event, running around, getting their make-up done, their hair done- men getting their ties fixed and I’m sitting there like it’s my wedding day, isn’t it? I FRANTICALLY ran to unzip my dress bag to get ready, only to find out I actually didn’t have a dress… I cried and realized I forgot to buy a dress and I had little to NO time to find one. I went to a small dress shop nearby and no matter how many times I said, “it’s an emergency”, no one was helping me. I woke up sweating that morning…can you say, STRESS?
But listen, it doesn’t have to be stressful! When I told my boyfriend that morning what kind of nightmare that was, he simply told me, “Hon, that would never happen, I would never let that happen to you." Reassuring enough, I thought this was the perfect start to the blog!
Planning a wedding is a PARTNERSHIP.
You got my back, and I got yours
I find that the biggest irony in the wedding world is how divided things are; “wedding day is the bride’s day", or “welcome Bridezilla”; there is an overshadowing assumption that the task at hand falls on the bride, when in actuality it’s not every man’s fantasy to hand over the credit card and leave the planning up to the bride! Getting married is an agreement. I mean, it stems from love. This is a model that sometimes we forget when the stress starts chiming in or when you feel time is closing in on you.
Here are a few things you can do to lessen that stress while planning with your partner:
1. Enjoy being ENGAGED!
Sometimes the excitement of planning a wedding overshadows the stage of being engaged! Though this stage is all about the “wedding planning”, soak in all the love and enjoy this fresh and new stage in your relationship! This would be the perfect time to reminisce on your journey; and for the bride - you rock that ring girl! Before the planning stage, discuss the vision with each other. Dream- practicality will come later!
2. Show up
Now this seems simple, but this basic step can be the first thing to go wrong! When you and your partner schedule an appointment with seeing a venue, a tasting, or meeting with your coordinator (*wink* wink*), there is nothing worse than having to decide something on your own. If you can’t make it, reschedule a time more convenient for the both of you. Showing up to a simple appointment is super important. It’s dedication to the day, dedication to each other, and dedication to everything that comes after.
3. Be present
Remember what I just said? No sir, you read wrong - showing up and being present are two different things! You may be there physically, but nothing is worse than having to envision your wedding day by yourself! Be present. Ask questions, take the time to engage in the conversation, push down that anxious feeling of “how much does this place cost”, “what do I have to do for work tomorrow”, “why is my boss calling me at 7pm?”; enjoy this moment, tell your mind to focus on this task and to be present with your loved one. Don’t forget to mark it on your calendar!
4. Make a date out of planning!
You know that saying, “never take your work home with you”? It’s kind of difficult when you’re planning a wedding. It’s very easy to be consumed with planning your wedding plus everything else that’s happening in the background. So, why not make a date out of it? If you work 5-days a week, you can dedicate Saturday-Sunday for wedding planning - in fact, why don’t you go out for a simple dinner while you’re at it? Make this a bonding experience, go out on a date, sit, talk, and squeeze in some ‘I love yous’! Ease the stress by filling your mind with calm wedding talks, your body with some great tacos, and your soul with your partner. Yes, I went there.
5. A partnership, is an agreement
It’s super easy to make a decision on the fly without consulting your partner. Sometimes it’s just convenient or you may even be pressured to do so. It's super important to make decisions together. As much as possible try to avoid phrases like, “you can choose the theme” or “don’t worry I trust you;" that shift responsibility to one person over another. Make it a point to choose every last detail together. Compromise; even if it means your fiancé wants a mariachi band instead of a DJ yes there is some truth to this, it might make me - I mean you* wince at the very thought, but hey- meet in the middle, will ya? Communication is very key to this. Communicate with your partner, listen to your partner and work together to find a common ground. It may involve sacrifices from both sides, but that’s also what a relationship and love is all about right?
6. Don’t forget
When everything gets too overwhelming, don’t forget why you’re doing it in the first place. If you take nothing else away from this post, take this- each other. All this stress no matter how you celebrate, what your vision is, what kinds of flowers you get, or dress you buy, or who is coming- this is all to celebrate the both of you. Take a break from planning and just be with each other. Take a step back and remember why this day has even come about. Love each other, love each moment- each frustrating moment-and remember love.
Comment below if you have some tips that you want other couples to know about planning their wedding!
See you all very soon xo,